Lessons...... in Real Life

Hi people, sorry to be away for such a long time but i have been gathering the material to keep your beautiful minds stimulated.

               

So yesterday i think was one of the most eventful I have had in a long time. So much that I think I should restart the new season with it ( I am bubbling with excitement just thinking about the content )

So i will start with this quote “Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.” This I strongly believe and maybe after reading this post so will you.

So to start things off, yesterday I woke up to a seemingly normal day to find my car ransacked and my radio gone. It was no surprise that I was upset and I continued to rant and rave about the loss of my radio for the most part of the morning. This was not gonna be a good day right? 

So I had made arrangements to see dispicable me with with my nephews that same afternoon. After seeing my radio gone I could be allowed to feel bad and have a valid reason to rain check. So still feeling upset I called them to reshedule this is where I learnt my First lesson; which is the power of genuine compassion. After hearing their excitement and their anticipation of the day ahead I just couldn't do it. Furthermore, not just hearing them say how sorry they were that my car radio was stolen but the directness of getting over it by them giving me directions to pick them up. If it was any adult I would say they were not genuine and unsympathetic but coming from kids I got the immediate lesson of  getting over it and moving on. So thats exactly what happened and my day was reset in a good direction with tons of fun at the movies. Second lesson; I realised how linked I was to the luxury of having a radio in the first place up to the point where it could potentially mess up an entire day. So it resulted in an ultimate goal of lessening dependencies on luxuries and getting back in tune with the basics.

So after a very good movie and dropping home the kids I went by a friend of mine, he and his wife are currently in the early stages of building a home together and for most of the night were stuck on their PC trying to decipher blueprints. Lesson learnt "get someone who knows how to read blueprints to help you lol" Third and more important lesson; In every major move in life it is always best to have support and love. Watching them try to make sense of the blueprints and reviewing it taught me the real value of teamwork. 

I left them still trying to make sense of the blueprint and later on met up with another friend on the  road. Needless to say we were a bit under the influence after a while and started a conversation on relationships. I can honestly say that I learnt as much about relationships as I have in the last year. It amazed me how he had it so much down to a science yet still factored in the aspect of feelings and emotions in his explanations. This is someone who admittedly was not interested in school growing up and dropped out or had any form of clinical training but he was able to break down such complex situations in relationships into simple and profound explanations they were book worthy. I wont discuss the lessons learnt in this post as they will definitely pop up  in others :) but i can say one of the most Important lessons learnt was women turning men into women and how men should deal with this by setting expectations and rules of male behavior as much as women do. Women overtly communicate traits that are associated with them being women for example moodiness that we as men accept. But what do most men communicate overtly for anyone to accept?? 

So that was my day and my final lesson from it was ........Always look for the lessons in daily life. It may seem cliche but sometimes the most complex things can be solved with the simplest observations and the most adverse situation may ultimately be a lesson in self. Hope this was a good start I have lots more in store ( rubbing hands). 

Beyond the Shadow of a Friendship

My friend and I were having a discussion about this particular topic the other day and it prompted me to post it. Can mutually attractive people really be platonic friends without any lustful or emotional feelings ?

I think it has been unwritten in most societies that this is in itself not possible based on social conditioning and assumptions. If this person ‘looks this way’ and the other ‘looks that way’ then the percentage chance that they are together is…..?. What is even more interesting is how the body speaks when both of these persons interact. That is, friendship is the relationship but overt flirtatious actions may take place unconsciously.


So my friend stated that in his eyes these hot and mentally stimulating females were very good friends but if they allowed him to he would get intimate with them. So of course I went to other friends both male and female to conjure more data. Surprisingly the responses were not very far from that of initial statement. 

What exactly is the nature of these relationships?

Is it a subliminal waiting game for the right time to make that move?

Or is it  just a means of delighting that selfish desire to be in contact with the person based on the fact that you are not together intimately, but still keeping that door/option open? 

Is there no true friendship in that sense but rather a shared association that both recognize each other’s attractive attributes? A kind of  fulfillment through association. 

Also, it can be said that we have been socialized to automatically respond to persons of the opposite sex if they are mentally and physically attractive as we are. Even nature can be blamed as we can be said to be hardwired to be on the lookout for the alpha male or alpha female.

The argument is that subconsciously we recognize that the person is attractive to us but our conscious minds keep us from acting on impulses. What happens though when we are inebriated and the classic 'I wasn't thinking straight' syndrome happens. Is that the true proof of the theory? Many can attest to this occurring in friendships with others considered attractive platonic friends.

What do you think ? ( I have a feeling that the women are going to have profuse sexist generalizations on this topic LOL. Yikes i am outnumbered) 

D-Evolution of Man

It is no question that in our quest for dominance of the globe that we have gotten out of touch with the natural world. The only thing that we have seemed to retain is our need to reproduce ( and even that is up for question now as we have moved to paradigms of pets for kids). Is this shift away from the simple to seek the complex setting us up for disaster? The more we move into technological reliance the more we are susceptible to extinction. This is even more apparent in the fact that virtually every move the modern man makes adversely affects his environment. 

 (Deforestation of the Amazon Jungle)

 

Furthermore is our advancement in medicine. Many have cited that our global culture of pills and the chronic treatment actually inhibits out ability to naturally combat diseases and viruses. Naturalists advise that we need to  consider that nature makes its own cures to stimulus in the natural world. On the extreme it has been said that we should go with the flow of the natural world and do away with treatments; letting natural selection take its place to ensure a stronger and more resistant species.Yes it seems very cold from one perspective but am i the only one who has seen an exponential jump in diseases and ads on TV for a new kind of disease almost every day. ADD, ADHD....HDTV LOL but seriously the list goes on and on. These pills are made to treat one disease and give you around half a dozen more. It is beyond me how an antidepressant's side effect is feelings of suicide. What is the purpose of the pill then ? 

So in light if this do we really have the right to call ourselves evolving beings when we are unable to strike a balance with the same environment we rely on? Is this what the master plan for the control of the human race is? An utter reliance on the man-made unable to use the God made. 

Conspiracy theorists may seem outlandish to some but there is philosophy in their thoughts. If the world was to go back to basics tomorrow would we be able to survive ? Here is a simple example: Could you regress without resistance or annoyance by giving up your car and resort to walking everywhere you go tomorrow? To what ends would you go to ensure you can keep your modern amenities ? It’s a weird paradox but the poor and suffering may actually in a better position to survive than us if you think about it. 

I think that the real proof of our intelligence and evolution will be when we are able to fully reap the rewards of modern technology as well as an ability to function without it. Also, to ensure we pay a part in continuing life on earth instead of ending it. However, I am penitent as it might be too late for change, for the virus known as man may have reached an inoperable stage and our d-evolution proven in our own suicide. 

The Continuum Of Change

It came to me the other day while watching a couple of racial drama’s that change; although an evolving thing takes a special way of thinking. The mindset  to not be blinded by the accepted way of thinking, but rather rebellious reasoning has given us our way to life we now take for granted.

Gandhi gave up the prestige of being a lawyer to fight against Indian discrimination and led India to Independence from English tyranny.

Rosa Parks challenged the Jim Crow laws of segregation with a single rebellious act and moved a nation to change.

Nelson Mandela fought against apartheid and its audacity in South Africa. 

These are a few of the same mindset as the ones we look at with uneasiness whenever they challenge the accepted norm of society. It takes a certain determination and fortitude to follow that which you think is right against what is accepted by the whole. So I pay homage to these pioneers.

So is it that certain persons are born with this trait, is it only based on the situation or is it present in all of us waiting on the perfect cocktail of situation and thought to bring it out ? If Gandhi was not  asked to leave the first class area  of the train for being Indian would he still have the passion to lead such a legendary movement. What would have happened if Nelson Mandela's side of the family was eligible to succeed to the Thembu throne. No doubt leading to a more luxurious lifestyle, would he be so against apartheid? Are we moved to change by atrocities brought on us and those close to us?  I see people who are vehement activist who never gave the time of day to what they are currently championing before something happened to them or a loved one. I know this is controversial but bear with me. Is it a "who feels it knows" kind of situation that is really the agent for change and the others just followers wanting a cause to champion? Are we that fearful to instigate change to just wait on that one fed up person to lead.  

But in any case I have yet to understand that weird expression and feeling of uneasiness when someone reaches out and helps another in the presence of a crowd. Why is that? As humans we all know what is the right thing in our hearts yet we normally choose the popular path not necessarily the right path. It’s troubling how we can be drafted to accept ridiculous conditions under the rule of social norms and leads me to start thinking about some things that we may need to stop accepting now. Like an education system that prides on personal goals and aspirations rather than the true focus( I think) which should be altruism and unselfish duties to one another. Yes it definitely makes great workers but does it produce great humans? ( look out for this topic). Also a work hierarchy where we perpetuate slave systems so acutely that only the blind and brainwashed are so oblivious to it.  So......I have given myself a challenge; To search for the truth in the actions of few and not in the words and rules of many, so that I too may inspire my own form of change. Let’s hope I can walk the walk and not just talk the talk.

Will you take the challenge as well?

Attraction and the Misdirection of the Ideal

Misdirection in magic takes advantage of the limits of the human mind in order to give the wrong picture and memory. The mind can concentrate on only one thing at a time so the magician uses this to manipulate the "victim's" idea of how the world is supposed to be.

Man has truly taken this to another level and rewritten the laws of attraction through misdirection. The ornaments and rituals that has personified the art of attraction for centuries has been taken over by science in the form of MAC makeup, steroids, breast and butt implants therefore making things a bit blurry with regards to the 'Ideal' partner. The first thought of a symmetrical figure may not be an indication of health but rather 'are those real"? along with the extreme  "is that a man or woman" ? 

Most know that the first impression is the lasting impression so the physical aspect does have its role in interpersonal relationship, but are complimenting interests and the mental arena being replaced by the iconizing of  cosmetic features and material resources to attract that special someone. So what then is the ideal? A cosmetic facade or the image projected from the inside? Have we as humans shifted this paradigm into that which is mainly physical only to be haunted when we enter these "superficial" relationships. This is easily demonstrated in most Hollywood relationships where image rules and scandalous breakups abound. 

More observation indicates that we may also be inadvertently misdirecting intentions. Scenario: She gets dolled up, puts on the push up bra and sexy black dress and hits the bar or club searching for that perfect man. But is she already setting herself up for disaster. it is proven scientifically that exposure of skin and breasts has the opposite effect on men mentally and physically to facilitate the production of sexual hormones in the male body (putting the man in sex mode). In light of this will a  mans first thought will be "i wonder what type of books she likes to read?" So in turn women may just objectifying themselves in the process and perpetuating the cycle. 

Furthermore, I have been accosted by a loyal reader on the point that most men lament on the type of ideal woman they want but settle down with the complete opposite or find that ideal, stick her in the house and go out and cheat anyway. 

Women have also been the source of controversy being able misdirect attention on how they are deep down and pull a grand illusion of the ideal mate.Portraying the image of the perfect woman early on the relationship only to make a 180 and put it 6"6 once the prize is attained. 

Is this innate or are we just socialized to be greedy, conniving bastards not really knowing what we want? Thats another topic (look out for it) . But is this all the fault of misdirection ? The opposite sex using the tools of sexual and material imagery to capture the attention of the 'victim"; therefore manipulating the outcome or are we just enhancing that which is of the natural world. Should we strive to stand above this or accept our primal instincts?

Do we really ever drop the physical modes and move to locations that typify what we want in someone? If we want to meet a sincere and unselfish person why do we not get involved at the shelter or children’s home better yet do some charity work. It seems basic reasoning... yes ? But why isn't this the normal practice? I think this proves that who we are with most times is exactly who we are meant to be with often shallow, instinct driven and selfish people. The stark fact is that we may all know what we want but are just too disappointed in ourselves to admit it when it goes against our socialized values of virtue and good will. 

Alas I think for most of us humans we have regressed into being purely animals, driven by what is in plane sight, oblivious to that which takes deeper thought to appreciate. Please let me know what you think.  

The Clarity of Sanity

It was a funny epiphany while I was observing a seemingly eccentric person that it came to me. Is there really such a thing as sanity? Now please bear with my... "lack of sanity " for this statement but who is to say that in the cosmic flow of things we are not in fact the ones on the negative extreme. Fooling ourselves into thinking we are correct in our assumptions and  beliefs based on the majority rule. I mean a lot of our sane human amenities, social conditions and procedures have been provided by seemingly insane characters. 

Ludwig van Beethoven who has produced some of the worlds most renowned music struggled with Bipolar Disorder and thoughts of suicide. 

Sir Issac Newton who gave us what is now modern day physics such as the laws of gravity, developing laws of motion and building, the first reflective telescope and the color spectrum  also suffered from psychotic tendencies and mood swings. 

Nicola Tesla the father of commercial electricity ( yes the wires on the poles that power your TV, microwave and computer) and AC current was an all round genius which most cannot even fathom yet he was obsessive compulsive, declared himself celibate to focus on work and was generally a social recluse until he had to present one of his grand inventions. 

These are but a few "insane" men that have contributed to our sane way of living. But I meditate and think that  tomorrow if we were to find out that all we thought was right was actually false and the man talking to himself on the side of the road was actually of a "higher mind"  how would we take it ? Would you insert yourself into a mental institution as being mad? Before you think that we are at a stage technologically to dismiss this remember, for something as basic as yawning we still do not know why it is contagious. Also, at one point not long ago in human history the entire world accepted that the world was flat until one "insane man" proved that it was round. 

So in light of this, how are we then to make a bold and audacious statements with regards to the vast and complex mind as to what sanity is ?  Some may even argue that this "insanity" may be the new indicator of higher intelligence.  

I end with a quote from Edgar Allen Poe; another creative writing genius who suffered from mental illness and alcohol abuse

"Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence -- whether much that is glorious -- whether all that is profound -- does not spring from disease of thought -- from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect"

Technology: The breakdown of the traditional relationship.

We have come a long way from the 16th centuries views of courtship and relationships. No longer are your tithes of love dependent on the swift rider but rather a swift fiber connection.  Have we moved to that impersonal space where a digital image is enough to suffice and sustain our modern relationships. Has romance and creative language left our being due to technology providing us the ability to do too much at one time; in turn leaving us no time to sit and dote or create sonnets of undaunted love?

Has social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace  taken the mystique and intrigue out of a personal meeting that we are now hardwired to the immediate image and pure physical attraction?

Is traditional romance dying  as technology advances ?  The connection to one another so simple that in turn we are so easily available  we take things for granted  or are we to adapt to this new blessed medium that allows you to have a relationship half the world away. As humans are we rapidly losing the language of love.

P.S. I would be really interested to know what Ode Shakespeare would have written from his BlackBerry, not to mention the trouble he would be in when his significant other reads them. LOL